Just know I tried to blog about 18 different things. Better luck next time I guess.

It's been awhile.

Thoughts:

1-Hey! I can blog again! Thanks, mac!

2-I ate eggs right out of the frying pan today. This must be what it feels like to be a bachelor.

3-I have to sing in Italian today. And I've finally had enough life experiences where I actually know what the composer feels in the music. Roger would be proud.

4-I want to go see Kristen. But I don't think that will be possible. Unless I figure out how to bus there. Hmmmm.

5-I just looked up a bus schedule. Boom.

6-I will be done with half my college experience in a month. Wahoo!

7-I will be in Idaho soon after that!!

8-I am antsy. And I keep thinking that once I check the next thing off my list this feeling will subside. But it never works. I just move on the the next thing and get antsy again.

9-I'm a little annoyed about mattresses.

10-iasilwy

11-I will not see Anna or Sarah before I leave this summer. This makes me sad on the inside.

12-Also, I'm a little nervous to not talk to anyone for 8 weeks. Crazy.

13-Summer could not possibly have been 8 months ago.

14-My foot is asleep.

15-This post should end now because the consciousness has stopped streaming. And thus any other thoughts I might record would no longer be a stream of consciousness.

16-Bye now.

Hello. I've been kind of a downer lately. I've been confused and generally sad. Which is unfortunate. There is so much good in my life. Literally everything is good. I can't actually think of a bad thing. Yet I'm dreary. It's so silly. See, every time I get bummed, something new and awesome springs up. I feel like God's saying, "Hey Kels, look. Remember how much I've given you? Get excited!" I do remember. I am very blessed. I need only to be happy. And I am. I really and truly am. I'm excited and I have joy. Yet that's not all I have. I wish I weren't so conflicted about this. It's like I like to be sad or something. Why else would I be anything but glad? Life is wonderful. God is so good.

This really was a coherent thought in my head. In fact, I saved it for last because I thought I could make something out of it. Ha, unfortunately not. Sorry.

aza part 2

Last year when I got home from choir tour in Arizona, I wrote down a list of things I learned there. (That is list can be found here: http://forapoint.blogspot.com/2010/04/aza.html...if you're strangely interested.) I just got back from Arizona again. And while I was only there a combined two days, I still learned things. And thought things. Anyway here are my reflections of sorts..

Firstly, I learned that it would be totally possible for me to live on the road. Driving and riding I am completely 100% content. But I also learned that I would not want to drive through Nebraska or New Mexico. Not very pretty. Ha, there's gotta be something wrong with me though. I drove to and from Texas not even two weeks ago and then went back for another 28 hours. I don't know what I'll do when I realize I don't have another road trip to look forward to. Drivespoiled. That's what I am.

Second is that I really love people. I get super self-conscious that I make bad impressions and I'm easily intimidated, but I'm learning that people love to be valued and appreciated. And it's a really cool thing to do the appreciating. God really does give people some pretty awesome talents and qualities. And I am so blessed to experience them.

It's okay to be lost. To run down twisty roads in the dark and to be a little afraid. It makes your appreciate being found. Hey, sometimes when you get found, you wish you were lost again. Being lost is important. It makes you think and figure stuff out. It makes you stop and be confused a bit. That's healthy. Consider. Determine. Act. Don't get stressed. You can't stay lost forever. Even if you never find your way back, you at least become familiar with your surroundings.

Kids are beyond cool, man. This five year old ball of energy reminded me how much joy there is in life. As much as I want to teach the big kids...I can't really imagine not having a kindergartener someday.

In other news:

851 is a very, very big number.

Reading is wonderful.

Dads are cool people.

Lizards and adventure are vital to life.

Self control is important.

Don't hate, appreciate! Especially when you don't know why you're mad.

God's rage is beautiful. Imagine what is love looks like. Obviously too profound to be my own thought.

Too much of anything can become exhausting.

Always. Always ask questions.

Take advantage of airplane conversations.

Deep breaths and smiling are key.

If you haven't noticed, I've gotten too lazy to expound on each of these.

Minnesota. You and I. We've seen better days in our relationship. I realize I've been neglecting you the last year or so. I was thinking about it, and I've truly never been more places in such a short period of time in my life. Since just about exactly a year ago, I've been to Arizona, California, Colorado, Virginia, Wisconsin, Iowa, Texas, and Arizona again...plus Missouri, Oklahoma, Nebraska, and New Mexico if you count driving through. Kinda crazy for someone who considered herself a non-traveler...anyway. Minnesota, looking at all this freezing rain, can you blame me for leaving? Soon and very soon I get to make my escape again--venturing off into the wilderness of beautiful Idaho. Cannot wait. And I cannot say that enough. I used to think that I'd live in Minnesota forever. I like my four seasons, I'm comfortable here and don't really jump at the opportunity for change (plus the school system is pretty tops). But someday, I might just go for good. Who's coming with me?

Hyellow! I am sitting in the airport and giving you something to read. IFLYBTB!

i do...not know what the point of this post is.

So I've been saying for the last week or two that marriage is the absolute last thing I want with my life. And I think I should write a few sentences just so if/when I decide I'm crazy or want to figure out what I was thinking...I'll be able to look back. Or something. Maybe I just had a thought. That's more likely. Anyway.

I think that marriage is a beautiful gift from God. And it's always been the plan. Get married, have my 4 kids (Because I believed I was made to be a mother. Who knows, I might still be.) But after relentless discussions and considerations in class and in conversations and in my brain, marriage scares me more than anything in the world right now. People say that there are so many ways to screw up parenting; well I think there are so many ways to screw up a marriage. And that kind of pain is not something I want to cause and not something I want to experience. But today I realized that I am wishing to be alone. And it's not cool for me to determine God's plan for me so early. What do I know of what's in store? So anyway, if it's His will, I hope I do get to experience the whole marriage thing and I hope it is a blessing. But I have such a long way to go before I'm ready to be a good wife for anyone. Because right now the more I think about it, all I get is terrified. And if it happens, it's going to be a big deal, because getting married means that I will be okay with these fears. Not that they will have dissipated, but I will be confident they have the propensity to be overcome.

Anyway. This was a silly post. But it was on my mind.

Conclusion: If I grow old and live with my dogs, awesome. I will consider myself blessed.

If I grow old with a husband whom I love, awesome. I will consider myself blessed. But talk to me about that when I'm not so jaded.

Grrrr Kelsey

Tonight I had plans. Fun plans even. And I laid down for a five minute nap that turned into 5 hours. Thus I did not have my plans or do my homework. Or pack for Arizona. And I am extremely exhausted. I dislike being such a good sleeper. I wish I were a good awaker.

Love for Trapp

When it comes to levels and layers, love is topic where these are seemingly infinite. The world is in constant pursuit for the meaning of love, and we are taught from an early age what this might mean for us individually and for the greater human race. My own thoughts on love are often convoluted and far from fully-formed, but they are thoughts nonetheless. This may be rambling and is admittedly a simple stream of consciousness, but what follows is a brief history of what I have learned of love throughout my life and what I continue to learn today.

When I was young I learned that my parents loved me. To me, this meant that they provided voices for stuffed animals when I played and that they hugged me close when I cried. Love was equivalent to safety. I was comforted by their presence and desired to rest in laps and be encompassed by huge bear hugs whenever possible. I was happy simply to know they loved me. But I also learned what it meant to love them back. Loving my parents meant picking up my toys and letting them know every single time I went potty like a big girl. Loving them meant doing anything to make them proud.

I learned what love means for siblings. I knew my brothers loved me when we played cowboys and basketball. I called and called for them to play with me because I didn’t want to play with anyone else. I loved them, even when they knocked over my Lincoln Logs or took the last cookie. I learned that sometimes loving means that you can fight with someone until you’re physically exhausted from screaming and crying, and then the next day you can be friends again. I learned that loving means sharing what you have--your toys as well as your experiences and your fights.

I learned that Jesus loves me. This I knew...and that somewhere in the Bible it tells me so. I learned that Jesus loves me more than anyone, so much that He would die when He didn’t have to so I could live with Him forever. And I learned to love Him too, and loving meant being nice and sharing and praying before bedtime.

I went to school and learned that love isn’t just about people. I learned to love reading and learning and thinking. I learned that it’s okay not to love everything, but it’s not okay to make a fuss about it. I learned to love recess and friends. I learned that when a boy gives you a ring in first grade, that just might be real love. I later learned that it isn’t. I learned that love means caring for the people around you, and if that was the case, then Miss Stindt loved me very much. I learned that love can make you cry when your friends move away, but that the tears from that love fade as time goes on. I learned slowly to give love time to grow. That love requires honesty. And fairness. And that kind of love can make just about anyone happy. And that love can last.

In middle school, I learned that love is fickle, and by 6th grade I had fallen in and out of love with so many boys I lost count. But then I learned that you probably have to talk to a boy before the love is made real. I learned from books and television what real live love looks like, and that it usually requires something called a “french kiss.”

I learned to love the colors green and white, and to display that love by painting my face at pep rallies. I learned that love for teams can create rifts and rudeness, and that deep connections to groups can create an awful feeling in the pit of your stomach when a loss is suffered.

I learned that the love of God is undeserved, and that that is the best kind of love of all. I learned that He made me, He saved me, and He cares about me, even when I don’t deserve it. I learned how awesome it is to be surrounded by that love and to learn about it daily. I learned that love is patient and kind, and anything true about love is true about God.

In high school, I learned about heartache. I learned what it feels like when friends fail and when love is betrayed. I learned what looks like from the inside of a clique, and how it looks from the outside of one. I learned that love can hurt.

I learned that love takes commitment, and that it is more confusing that I thought. That it deserves time and thought and sometimes tears. I learned that even though a boy asks you to the prom, you don’t have to kiss him or tell him that you love him. Love can’t be forced. And I learned that love is more than what you hear about on the radio, even if every song that plays happens to remind you someone in particular.

I learned what it feels like when love is ripped from you. I learned that you sometimes don’t realize how much you love someone until they are gone. Love can make you feel guilty. Love can make you want to crawl in a hole and never come out. Love can make you question everything when death steals it away.

But I learned that God doesn’t want love to be like that. I learned that love from God is comfort and peace. Love from God is like a wave that covers you. He is there when all other love fails. His love gives hope.

I went to college and learned how difficult it is to be away from the ones you love. I learned that distance hinders relationships even when you were certain they could withstand anything. I learned that feelings change and love changes. And new love is always developing.

In the summer, I learned from children how to love better and how to find joy. I learned that love isn’t jealous and that real love doesn’t become angry when mistakes are made. I learned how to love people who are different from me. That everyone is unique and everyone is lovable. And that I am lovable. I learned how to entrust my heart to people--to become vulnerable with people I know can hurt me, but I trust never will. I learned what it looks like when love grows on turbo speed, and that deep relationships form when God is at the center. I learned how to share the love of God with those around me. I learned the joy that comes from loving others--from seeing their needs and serving them instead of your own.

I learned that love that is unrequited can sting in places you did not know existed, and that it is difficult to reverse the effects of love once the ball gets rolling. I’ve learned that it love overpowers the mind, if only for a moment. Love is an unstoppable force. An uncontrollable impulse. I’ve learned that that’s okay.

I have learned what it means to be so deeply connected with someone that love is the only word to describe it, and yet the term seems lacking. I’ve learned what it is to give yourself fully to another and receive the same in return. That love is doing everything in your power to care for another, and that there is a difference between loving and loving well. Between love and being in love. I’ve learned that love is exciting and love is dangerous. Love is confusing and rare. Love can become so overwhelming that nothing else can seem to matter. Love can be the most pure and natural high in the world.

But I learned that sometimes love is not enough. And the pain from love lost can be just as overwhelming as the joy it once brought. Love can well up inside you and make you crazy with pain. It can control you mentally and physically as well as emotionally. It can ruin everything you once had. But love that is real is never regrettable.

I have learned that love means infinitely different things in different situations. Love of a parent is vastly different from the love of a friend which is yet dissimilar to the love of a significant other. And all of these are even further removed from my newfound love for nutella. I have learned that sometimes the coolest kinds of love are between people who don’t know each other. Love that comes from some selfless place can change the world, even if that world is only according to one individual.

I’ve learned that love can be inconsistent. And I have learned to not trust love. Love that fails and love that is impossible and love that causes pain--who wants to be part of that? Love of the world is flawed. Love here is fleeting. But I have learned that God’s love is constant. And His love is pure. His love motivated him to make the ultimate sacrifice for me even though all I ever do is spit in His face. I’ve learned that I am ultimately undeserving of love. I do not deserve compassion or care. I am judgmental and proud and cruel. I deserve to be forgotten and punished by a perfect creator. And this is precisely what makes Love so truly awe-inspiring. Christ takes everything I have learned about love in my twenty years of life and blows it out of the water. In comparison to the Love I know from Jesus, everything else I have learned is untrue. And this amazing Love is what enables me to love others. This Love is what compels me to live not for myself, but for Him who loved me first.

Tonight I fell in love with the stair-stepper

I haven't worked out hard in a long time. I've gone on runs. But to actually push myself if rare. Tonight was a very good night. I almost couldn't walk afterward. Which was kind of awesome. Kelseytime. Yep.

yuck

So for my health class, I had to assess my food intake for one day. Just one day (and I even ate less because I was evaluating). What have I discovered? I am disgusting. No wonder I am constantly gaining weight. Not that that's the be all end all, but I'm just plain not healthy! I need to figure out a way to be more...balanced here at school. Cause dude. Gross.

This will also make me start running again.

Thank you, Brian Johnson.

happy pi day!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_BwKZEp2K_0&feature=related

I recently arrived at school from spring break. I am alone in my apartment, which is really my favorite part about right now. I'm frustrated with myself because I literally haven't even been here for an hour and I already want to leave. It's silly and dumb, but I just want to be done with school. I get like this every so often. And I complain and it's super annoying to listen to myself. And then I suck it up. And life goes on. And I learn to be happy. Because I like being happy, I really do. Blah. I just need to find reason right now. That's not to say there isn't reason. I'm just preventing myself from seeing it I guess.

Scratch that. I'm no longer alone.

I would really like some spring. Really really. The ability to be outside and not be grossed out by the cold and the snow would be awesome.

That's why Texas was so nice. It was spring weather and people were happy and kind.

I'm really sick of overthinking my life. I need to let go and let God do His work.

What I really want is a friend. A friend who is here. I have friends, don't get me wrong. But I'm also new and I don't have my friend. One that depends on me and vice versa. One with whom I can talk to about anything and nothing forever and have adventures and just be. Without overanalyzation. Just a friend. Yeah that'd be nice.

And then there's Idaho. I just want it to be now. But then with all of this--the wanting to leave winter and going to Idaho and blah just all of it--I feel like I'm just trying to escape. And what I'm trying to escape, I don't know. Because my life is pretty dang great. I'm just so frazzled by change and responsibility and the tiny strokes of growing up that I'm experiencing that I want to go somewhere where I can simply be. But if I did that, then I'd have my same problem because I wouldn't want to deal with that change either. Anyway, I've figured out I'm trying to escape. And that's not cool. Maybe it's a good thing not to go to Arizona.

This is a misguided post. And a rather downer. Meh. I'm good, I'm just discouraged by the end of spring break I suppose. And I'm feeling alone. I really hate being alone. But I know I'm not. God is steadfast. And He loves me even though I'm so far from deserving of it. I'm just kind of hoping he sends me a hug today.

stream of consciousness: random thoughts because i haven't blogged in awhile.

I've now been here in my new home for a month. I mean, I moved my things in (some anyway) one month ago yesterday. And I am 100% positive that I am happier today than I was on October the 6th of this year. So while I may go back and forth on this transferring thing sometimes and different things and ideas make me cringe and make me momentarily sad, this is a good thing. And this will continually get better. God is good. And He so beautifully provides.

Tonight I got to have a chat with an amazing woman about an amazing blessing. Marriage is cool. And it's so much more than the ideas I've always had.

Wow I can't stand living in filth. Holy holy cow. Today may have been my breaking point. All I want for my birthday is cleaning supplies. But even when I clean, it gets back to this awful state in about 3 hours. I can finally identify with my mother in this realm. And I need to figure out how to deal with it or I will eventually explode.

This is a weird thing to vocalize(or really typelize..)...but whatever. Lately I feel worth something. Not that I normally don't. But I am loved. And feeling good about myself is such a blessing.

And not to go back on thing one, but I do really really miss St. Peter. And Mankato.

I need to seek out more opportunity for hugs.

Dino of the Week: Maiasaura

The Maiasaura is a duckbilled dinosaur(hadrosaur) that lived in the Montana-ish area. She had a flat skull and crests above her eyes. Her name is pronounced My-yah-sore-ah, it means "Good Mother Lizard." She was called this because she was the first dino to be found within close proximity of her young and most likely took care of them. (notice, her name ends in an "a" versus an "us" because she is one of the few dinos that has a feminine name!) She was roughly 30 ft and weighed 8,000 lbs. She ate plants and berries (probably about 200lbs a day!) and nested in herds with other Maiasuara(nests were generally only about 7ft apart). She could walk on either two or four legs cause she was pretty talented.

Random fact: The Maiasaura was the first dino in space! In 1985 astronauts took a piece of bone and eggshell on a mission. Cool.

Side note: When I was in 6th grade, my dino project was done on this girl.

What goes up, must come down.

Remember how about three weeks ago I was at the happiest of my happy? Well, I'm not necessarily at the saddest of my sads...but I'm down there. And it's less of a sad than I just so..discouraged. Like exhaustedly so. I know there are so many good things around me and I know that there are good things to come and everything is temporary and all those encouraging things. But, man, I'm scared. And I'm sad. My brain is everywhere and nowhere today. Dawson and Joey would be very welcome friends currently.

Also, I left my Bible at school today cause I figured I wouldn't need it for just one night.....ha.

Hello super anxious and antsy Kelsey. I think this is what I get for drinking coffee at 11pm. I don't even really like coffee. And I now don't want to sleep or put in my retainer. Blagh. I do, however, crave a hug. You know what the worst part of being in a new place is? The lack of hugs. Easy. Thirdly. I might become a himym fan. We'll see. Also, I need to get my poop in a group.....Sunday. Or maybe Monday. And finally. God is good. And I am glad.

Also also, why is it so dang cold in this apartment. Srsly man. Srsly.

OH. I saw funny funny funny dancing tonight. Such entertainment.

This has been pillow chats with antsy Kelsey. Goodnight.

future self, you will enjoy this. you were at class at 8:24 today. you'll most likely be still sleeping until later than this on a typical day. happy first day of schooly school.

Hello! I am sitting here in my new apartment watching television. I never ever watch television. How exciting. I'm really just content to be here. My room is sweet. And I have people to live with. Good things.

Frustration number one: I have no idea where I'm going tomorrow morning. And I can't figure it out because I can't log in to anything. Let's hope my alarm clock works tomorrow morning so I can work out my life. Yahoo!

Number two: I'm really hungry. I guess that one is easily fixed.

Three: there is no three. How great.

unfreaked for now.

tomorrow i go to school. and i am very, very excited. this is newness. and nervousness. and freshness. and happiness.. hopefully. at this point, i'm reminding myself why i'm here. and how i know god's going to bless all of this. and while i may be socially awkward and unable to draw immediate connections and i may not have a best friend on day one or two or eight, i am loved. he loves me. and it is going to be good. so now i sleep. wrapped up tight in all his love. and so engulfed in all his blessings.

learning in december and january

Oh hay. It's been a good couple of months. Real good. And with goodness (and badness, but in this case mostly goodness) comes learning. So here are just a few of the zillions of things I've learned and relearned recently.

Lately, I've relearned just how blessed I truly am. And how to appreciate it better.

And because of that, I'm learning how to always say thank you.

I've learned to cook...a little.

I've learned that God and I don't always agree on what's best. And that's a beautiful thing. Because I've learned that He's right.

I've learned a few big words.

I've learned every word to lots of songs I cannot stand.

I've learned that music heals the soul. And that I love to sing. Also, sidenote, I'm fairly confident that Jesus loves loves loves music. And I wonder if he was one of those people who just sing and sing all the time. Like when he walked everywhere. I hope he was. Singing is joy.

I've learned what a difference time make in people, myself included. And when I think about that, depending on the day, I can become overwhelming happy or overwhelmingly sad.

I've learned that Alexander the Great's body was preserved in honey.

I've learned about Jesus. And how his Word is true. And how much he loves.

I've learned that people are icebergs.

I've learned to love winter! And the ever-growing piles of snow.

I've learned that adults are real people with real feelings and real problems. Who knew?

I've learned to never, ever trust a tow truck.

I've learned that sometimes, just sometimes, there is a difference in doing what you love and loving what you're doing--between going where you want to be or wanting to be where you are--between being with people you love and loving the people you're with. And while the first can be more enticing, I've come to find so much joy in the latter. And then the two become the same. And that makes happy.

I've learned about dinosaurs.

I've learned the things that make laughter and make joy. I've learned how important they are. And how accessible.

I've relearned that no matter how hard I try, I'll never be a really great bowler.

I've learned that making others happy gets you like 97% of the way to being immersed in gladness yourself.

I've learned that before 2am, conversation > sleep. Always. But before 2pm, sleep > life. Always.

I've learned how people and interests and priorities change, but the right ones tend to stay right where they are for you.

I've learned that I have so much to learn.

And that I can't wait to keep basking in the the continual newness of life. What gladness.

it's crazy how selfish we can be sometimes

my brother and i spent four hours in a car together today and now we just spent the last 20 minutes fighting over who gets to use our working one. so silly.

this is the story that i wrote while i waited in a car for over three hours for a tow truck.

I am still waiting.

Hansel and Gretel and the Tow Truck

by a very frustrated Hansel and Gretel

Once upon a time there were two children named Hansel and Gretel. They were going to school, but they forgot their bread crumbs. So when their car broke down in the middle of the forest, they had no way to find their way home. To make matters indefinitely worse, it was the dead of winter. Everything around them was white. For miles they could recognize nothing. After three weeks of living on one bottle of water, a tow truck appeared in the distance. Horray! We're saved, cried little Hansel. But Gretel knew something was fishy. See, this tow truck was made entirely of fish. And while the children ate the fish off of the tow truck, the little old lady driver just laughed. They ate the fish for days. They became fat off of salmon and herring until they were so fat that they laid down to rest. At this point, the tow truck driver popped out of the half eaten truck. Heheheheheheee she cackled. I've been fattening you up, waiting for you to be ready to be frozen and later cooked. She went back into the truck to find her mittens because it was cold. Thinking on their feet, metaphorically speaking, the children struggled to stand, and when the witch returned (for they had now caught on that this was actually a witch planning to eat them) they pushed her into the snow and hit her with the freeze ray Hansel just happened to have in his back pocket that he had borrowed from a friend. The children then got into the half eaten tow truck and drove home, because the tow truck had gps. The day was saved, and the witch now lives frozen in the forest forever as a monument to this monumental day. The end.

the strongest person i know.

I've been really blessed to get to know my mom better this year. I don't know what it is. But when I started coming home to work in the fall we started having these conversations. About anything. And everything. We'd sit and expound on life until three in the morning. Which I tend to do too often with people. But in this instance it was so different. First because my mom usually will not stay up past ten. And secondly because we've never been all that close--at least not to the level at which I willing provided so much information about my life and my thoughts and my heart. And certainly not to the level at which she'd do the same. I've learned good things. I've learned my mom was hot. Like a serious babe. Haha. And I've learned that she was and still is fun. I've learned that she's smarter than I give her credit. And I've learned what makes her sad.

My mother is without a doubt the strongest person I know. Not many people have gone through her heartache. Few people have lost so much. I look and she the brokenness around her and I am completely overwhelmed. I mean, I have a hard time stomaching even the thought. Yet through it all, my mother is a rock. Sure, she cries at every movie, wedding, soccer game, magic trick...ha, everything. But she has so much joy and shows so much support for the people around her. She constantly outpours love--love that can only stem from a heart so deeply rooted in Christ. Seriously, her faith is amazingly strong. She is a prayer warrior (better than kung fu panda) and she reminds me to look to God when He is the last thing on my mind. People learn so much from her, and there is no one I know who doesn't adore her, especially her students who absolutely bask in her awesomeness. I had some of her kids as campers this summer and I couldn't get a word in edgewise the way they'd just go on about how cool she is. That. That is cool. She teaches. And they learn. And I learn so much from her--about love, about joy, about how to treat people, about life and what's important and about my Savior. I am so extremely blessed to have such a mother who is such an amazing woman of God.

And that's why it's been so cool to get to know her. Because I'm starting to finally get it. The way everything she does goes back to her Savior. And the way she lives it better than anyone I know. It's so...organic, the way she loves. She doesn't care about what people think or what's cool or what she'll get by what she's doing. She loves because it's right. And because her heart is about as big as her basket collection.

People have always told me that I'm like my mother. Always. And to be honest, until recently I always cringed at the thought. My mom is a little spacy. She shrieks often. In high school, she got on my nerves. But my mom is an incredible woman. Truly incredible. And I am positively humbled and overjoyed to know that any bit of her is seen in me.

good things.

Welp. I'm not tired. And I feel like I have things on my mind. I just really don't know what they are. This often happens to me. I feel like I'm thinking so hard, but I really have no idea what it is about which I am thinking.

Today was a good day. I made (helped make) pizza. Mostly I watched, which is a really good thing because it is for that reason that they turned out delicious. I only pretend to be a cook. But that was enjoyable. And also I made music. Which I'm pretty poor at, but it was likewise engaging.

This has been just a happy break overall. I truly have done pretty much everything I could want to do, save for ice skating...but I'm sure I could fit that in this last week. It's simply been good. I've cooked a little. Cleaned for a whole day. Had adventures and participated in activities. Seen the people I love. And really I've realized every day anew how immensely blessed I am. It's wild. I have new reasons all the time. Life is good. But also moms are good. And so are movies.

And lincoln logs.

And cow hats.

And brothers.

And soup.

And singing.

And friends.

And ping pong.

And driving.

And crafts.

And running.

And cheese.

And books.

And love.

And God.

God is so good.

brocode

This is someone else's bro code. I've weeded many out. These are the ones that either a) made perfect sense, b) made me laugh or c) some other reason that is not to be questioned. enjoy.

Bro Code:

Article 1: Bro's before Ho's

Article 2: A Bro is always entitled to do something stupid, as long as the rest of his Bros are doing it

Article 3: If a Bro gets a dog, it must be at least as tall as his knee when full-grown

Article 4: A Bro never divulges the of the Bro Code to a [hoe]. It is a scared document not to be shared with [hoes] for any reason...no not even that reason.

Article 5: whether he cares about sports or not, a Bro cares about sports.

Article 8: A Bro never sends a greeting card to another Bro.

Article 10: A Bro will drop whatever he's doing and rush to help his Bro dump a [hoe].

Article 11: A Bro may ask his Bro(s) to help him move, but only after first discoling an honest estimate on both time commitment and number of large pieces of furnititure. If the Bro has vastly underestimated either, his Bros retain the right to leave his possessions where they are-in most cases, stuck in a doorway.

Article 13: All Bros shall dub one of their Bros his wingman

Article 15: A Bro never dances with his hands above his head.

Article 16: A Bro should be able, at any time, to recite the following reigning champions: Super Bowl, World Series

Article 19: A Bro shall not sleep with another Bro's sister. However, a Bro shall not get angry if another Bro says, "Dude, your sisters hot!"

Article 20: A Bro respects his Bros in the military because they've selflessly chosen to defend the nation, but more to the point, because they can kick his ass sex ways to sunday.

Article 21: A Bro never shares observations about another Bro's smoking-hot girlfriend. Even if the Bro with the hot girlfriend attempts to bait the Bro by saying "she's smoking-hot, huh?" a Bro shall remain silent, because in this situation, he's the only one who should be baiting.

Article 22: There is no law that prohibits a woman from being a Bro.

Article 24: When wearing a baseball cap, a Bro may poition the brim at either 12 or 6 o'clock. All other angles are reserved for rappers and the handicapped.

Article 25: A Bro doesnt let another Bro get a tattoo, particularly a tattoo of a girls name.

Article 26: Unless he has children, a Bro shall not wear his cell phone on a belt clip.

Article 27: A Bro never removes his shirt in front of other Bros, unless at a resort pool or the beach

Article 29: If two Bros decide to catch a movie together, they may not attend a screening that begins after 4:40pm. Also despite the cost savings, they shall not split a tub of popcorn, choosing instead to procure individual bags.

Article 30: A Bro doesn't comparison shop.

Article 32: A Bro doesnt allow another Bro to get married until hes at least thirty

Article 33 When in a public restroom, a Bro (1) stares straight ahead when using the urinal; (2) makes the obligatory comment, "What is this, a chicks' restroom?" if there are more than two dudes waiting to pee; and (3) attempts to shoot his used paper towel into the trash can like a basketball...rebounding is optional.

Article 35: A Bro never rents a chick flick

Article 38: Even in a fight to the death a Bro never punches another Bro in the groin.

Article 39: When a Bro gets a chicks number, he waits at least ninety-six hours before calling her.

Article 40: Should a Bro become stricken with engagement, his Bros shall stage an intervention and attempt to heal him. This is more commonly known as "a bachelor party."

Article 41: A Bro never cries (Exceptions- Watching Field of Dreams, ET or a sports legend right (only first time he retires))

Article 42: Upon greeting another Bro, a Bro may engage in a high five, fist bump, or a Bro hug, but never a full embrace.

Article 43: A Bro loves his country, unless that country isn't America.

Article 44: A Bro never applies sunscreen to another Bro

Article 47: A Bro never wears pink. Not even in Europe

Article 49: When asked, "Do you need some help?" a Bro shall automatically respond, "I gotit," whether or not he's actually got it.

Article 50: If a Bro should accidentally strike another Bro's undercarriage with his arm while walking, both Bros silently agree to continue on as if it never happened.

Article 51: A Bro checks out another Bro's blind date and reports back with a thumbs-up or thumbs-down

Article 52: A Bro is not required to remember another Bros birthday, though a phone call every now and again probably wouldn't kill him

Article 53: Even in a drought, a Bro flushes twice

Article 55: Even in an emergency that requires a tourniquet, a Bro never borrows from or lends clothes to another Bro.

Article 57: A Bro never reveals the score of a sporting event to another Bro unless that Bro has thrice confirmed he wants to hear it.

Article 58: A Bro doesn't grow a mustache

Article 59: A Bro must always post bail for another Bro, unless it's out of state or, like, crazy expensive (Crazy expensive bail >(years you've been bros) x $100)

Article 60: A Bro shall honor they father and mother, for they were once Bro and [hoe]. However, a Bro never thinks of them in that capacity.

Article 61: If a Bro for whatever reason becomes aware of another Bro's anniversary with a chick, he shall endeavor to make that information available to his Bro, regardless of whether he thinks his Bro already knows.

Article 64: A Bro must provide his Bro with a ticket to an event if said event involves the latter Bro's favourite sports team in a playoff scenario

Article 65: A Bro must always reciprocate a round of drinks amoung Bros.

Article 66: If a Bro suffers pain due to the permanent dissolution of a relationship with a lady friend, a Bro shall offer nothing more than a 'that sucks, man' and copious quantities of beer. A Bro will also refrain from pejorative commentary - desered or not - regarding said lady friend for a period of three months, when the requisite BACKSLIDE WINDOW has closed.

Article 67: Should a Bro pick up a guitar at a party and commence playing, another Bro shall point out that he is a tool.

Article 70: A Bro will drive another Bro to the airport or pick him up, but never both for the same trip. He is not expected to be on time, help with luggage, or inquire about his Bro's trip or general well-being.

Article 71: As a courtest to Bros the world over, a Bro never brings more than two other Bros to a party.

Article 72: A Bro never spell-checks.

Article 73: When a group of Bros are in a restaurant, each shall engage in the time-honored ritual of jockeying to pay the bill, regardless of affordability. When the group ultimately decides to divide the check, each Bro shall act upset rather that enormously relieved.

Article 74: At a red light, a Bro inches as close as possible to the rear bumper of the car infront of him, and then immediately honks his horn when the light turns green. That way if another Bro is several cars behind, he'll have a better chance of making it through the intersection before the light turns red again.

Article 75: A Bro automatically enhances another Bro's job description when introducing him to a chick.

Article 76: If a Bro is on the phone with a chick while in front of his Bros and, for whatever reason, desires to say "I love you" he shall first excuse himself from the room or employ a subsonic barry white-esque tone

Article 77: Bros don't cuddle

Article 81: A Bro leaves the toilet seat up for his Bros

Article 84: Bro shall stop whatever he's doing and watch Die Hard if it's on TV.

Article 85: If a Bro buys a new car, he is required to pop the hood when showing it off to his Bros.

Article 86: When a Bro meets a chick he shall endeavor to find out where she fits on the Hot/Crazy Scale before pursuing her.

Article 87: A Bro never questions another Bro's stated golf score, maximum bench press, or height. He can however, ask the Bro to prove it, traditionally in the form of a wager.

Article 88: If a Bro, for whatever reason must drive another Bro's car, he shall not adjust the preprogrammed radio stations, the mirrors, or the seat position, even if this last requirement results in the Bro trying to drive the vehicle as a giant praying mantis would.

Article 89: A Bro shall always say yes in support of a Bro

Article 91: If a group of Bros suspect that their Bro is trying to give himself a nickname, they shall rally to call bim by an adjacent yet more demeaning nickname

Article 93: Bros don't speak French to one another

Article 94: If a Bro is in the bathroom and runs out of toilet paper, another Bro may toss him a new roll, but at no point may their hands touch or the door open more than 30 degrees

Article 96: Bros shall go camping once a year, or at least attempt to start a fire

Article 97: Where a Bro went to college is going to kick his Bro's college's ass all over the field this weekend

Article 99: A Bro never asks for directions when lost

Exception: A Bro may as for directions for a hot chick who seems to know the area

Exception: A Bro may ask for directions from a hot chick even if she also appears lost

Exception: A Bro may ask for directions from a hot chick even if he is not lost at all.

Article 100: When pulling up to a stoplight, a Bro lowers his window so that all might enjoy his music selection.

Corollary: If there happens to be a hot chick driving the car next to the Bro, the Bro shall pull his sunglasses down to get a better look. If he's not wearing his sunglasses, he will first put them on, then pull them down to get a better look.

Article 101: If a Bro asks another Bro to keep a secret, he shall take that secret to his grave. This is what makes them Bros, not [hoes].

Article 102: A Bro shall take great care in selecting and training his wingman.

Article 103: A Bro never wears socks with sandals. He commits to one cohesive footgrear plan and sticks with it.

Article 105: If a Bro is not invited to another Bro's wedding, he doesn't make a big deal out of it, even if, let's face it, he was kind of responsible for setting up the couple and had already picked out the perfect wedding gift and everything. Its cool. No big.

Article 106: Given an option on quantity when ordering a beer with his Bros, a Bro alwas selects the largest size available or shall never hear the end of it that night

Article 107: A Bro never leaves another Bro hanging

Article 109: When Bros attend a sporting event and see themselves on the JumboTron, they shall purse their lips and flex their biceps while informing the crowd that their team is number one, despite any objective rankings to the contraty.

Article 111: If a Bro discovers another Bro has forgotten to sign out of his email the Bro will sign out for him, but only after first sending a few angry emails to random cntacts and then deleting all sent messages.

Article 112: A Bro doesnt sing along to music in a bar.

Exception: A Bro may participate in karaoke

Exception to exception: No chick songs

Article 115: A "clothing optional" beach doesn't really mean "clothing optional" for Bros

Article 117: A Bro never willingly relinquishes possession of a remote control. If another Bro desires a channel change, he may verbally request one or engage in the fools errand of getting up to manually change the channel

Article 118: When a Bro is with his Bros he is not a vegetarian

Article 119: When three Bros must share the backseat of a car, it is unacceptable for any Bro to put his arm around another Bro to increase space. Likewise, it is unacceptable for two Bros to share a motorcycle, unless said motorcycle is equipped with a sidecar...a Brotorcycle

Article 120: A Bro always calls another Bro by his last name

Article 121: Even if he's never skied before, a Bro doesn't trifle with the bunny slope.

Article 122: A Bro is always psyched. Always.

Article 123: Two Bros shall maintain at least a three-foot radius between them while dancing on the same floor, even when reenacting the knife fight from "Beat It" which, I guess, two Bros shouldn't do anyway, or at least not very often.

Article 124: If a Bro should shoot an air ball, strike out while playing softball, or throw a gutter ball while Bowling, he is required to make some sort of excuse for himself.

Article 125: If a Bro is driving ahead of another Bro in a Bro TRain, he is required to attempt to lose him in traffic as a funny joke.

Article 128: A Bro never wears two articles of clothing at the same time that bear the same school name, vacation destination or sports team. Even in a laundry emergency, its prefered that a Bro go out half naked rather than violate this code...half naked from the waist up, naturally.

Article 129: If a Bro lends another Bro a DVD, video game, or piece of laawn machinery, he shall not expect to ever get it back, unless his Bro happens to die and bequeath it back to him.

Article 130: If a Bro learns another Bro has been in a traffic addident, he must first ask what type of car he collided with and whether it got totaled before asking if his Bro is okay.

Article 131: While a Bro is not expected to know exactly how to change a tire, he is required to at least drag out the jack and stare at the flat for a while. If he needs to consult the car's ownership manual to locate the jack, he shall do so from inside the car, where he is not visible to bassersby and where he can discreetly call a tow truck, after which it is recommended that he hide the jack by the side of the road so he'll have a legitimate excuse when the tow truck arrives.

Article 132: If a Bro decides to let all of his Bros down and get married, he is required to invite them to the wedding, even if this directly violates the wishes of his fiancée and results in a "no sex" penalty or whatever lame domestic punishment couples might employ

Article 133: A Bro only claims a fart after first accusing at least one other Bro.

Article 134: A Bro is entitled to use a woman as his wingman

Article 135: If a scenario arises in which a Bro has promised two of his Bros permanent shotgun, one of the following shall determine the copitot: (1) foot race to the car, (2) silent auction or in the case of a road trip exceeding 450 miles, (3) a no-holds-barred cage match to the death.

Article 136: When interrogated by a girlfriend about a bachelor party, a Bro shall offer nothing more than an uninterested "It was okay"

Article 137: When hosting, a Bro orders enough pizza for all his Bros

Article 138: A real Bro doesn't laugh when a guy gets hit in the groin.

Exception: Unless he doesn't know the guy.

Article 139: Regardless of veracity, a Bro never admits familiarity with a Broadway show or musical, despite the fact that, yes, "Broadway" begins with "Bro"

Article 140: A Bro reserves the right to simply walk away during the first five minutes of a date. (Lemon Law)

Article 141: A Bro can only get a manicure if (a) he's trying to sleep with the hot Asian woman performing the manicure, or (b) its been longer than a month since his last manicure. Its called the Bro Code, not the slob Code.

Article 142: A Bro shall seek no revenge if he passes out around his Bros and wakes up to find marker all over his face.

Article 143: When executing a high five a Bro is forbidden from intertwining fingers of grasping his Bro's hand

Article 144: It is unacceptable for two Bros to share a hotel bed without first exhausting all couch, cot, and pillows-on-floor combinations. If it's still unavoidable, they shall prevent any incidental spoonage by arm wresting to determine who sleeps under the covers. Once decided each Bro shall don as many lower layers as possible before silently fist bumping the other good night.

Article 145: A Bro is never offended if another Bro fails to return a phone call, text or email in a timely fashion

Article 147: If a Bro sees another Bro get into a fight, he immediately has his Bro's back

Exception: If his Bro has picked a fight with a scary looking guy

Exception: If this is the third fight (or more) his Bro has gotten into that week)

Exception: If the Bro has a note from a physician excusing him from having anybody's back

Article 148: A Bro doesnt listen to chick music...in front of other Bros. When alone, a Bro may listen to, say, a Sarah McLachlan album or two, but only to gain valuable insights into the female psyches, not because he finds her melodies tragically haunting yet curiously uplifting at the same time.

Article 149: A Bro pretends to understand and enjoy cigars

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ&feature=artistob&playnext=1&list=TLEriTfE4_t5s

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