this is the story that i wrote while i waited in a car for over three hours for a tow truck.

I am still waiting.

Hansel and Gretel and the Tow Truck

by a very frustrated Hansel and Gretel

Once upon a time there were two children named Hansel and Gretel. They were going to school, but they forgot their bread crumbs. So when their car broke down in the middle of the forest, they had no way to find their way home. To make matters indefinitely worse, it was the dead of winter. Everything around them was white. For miles they could recognize nothing. After three weeks of living on one bottle of water, a tow truck appeared in the distance. Horray! We're saved, cried little Hansel. But Gretel knew something was fishy. See, this tow truck was made entirely of fish. And while the children ate the fish off of the tow truck, the little old lady driver just laughed. They ate the fish for days. They became fat off of salmon and herring until they were so fat that they laid down to rest. At this point, the tow truck driver popped out of the half eaten truck. Heheheheheheee she cackled. I've been fattening you up, waiting for you to be ready to be frozen and later cooked. She went back into the truck to find her mittens because it was cold. Thinking on their feet, metaphorically speaking, the children struggled to stand, and when the witch returned (for they had now caught on that this was actually a witch planning to eat them) they pushed her into the snow and hit her with the freeze ray Hansel just happened to have in his back pocket that he had borrowed from a friend. The children then got into the half eaten tow truck and drove home, because the tow truck had gps. The day was saved, and the witch now lives frozen in the forest forever as a monument to this monumental day. The end.