Alright. So. Saturday. I'm home for the weekend because I have to sing..yadawhatever. So I'm leaving for California in three weeks so I figure I better go swimsuit shopping (which..I didn't end up doing on this day, but we'll talk about that later). So I decide to go to Target--prime swim suit selection, for sure.
Anyway I'm in the parking lot, walking in the sunshine from my car to storehouse of wonderment (as I often call Target... except I never have ever..now I will though..maybe). There are a lot of people shopping for life necessities and pleasures; it is a Saturday after all. So I had to park way back and thus I've got quite the way to walk. Let it be known that I did not look cute this Saturday by any means--you know how I feel about cute and this was an off day even for me. Okay so picturing? Sunnny Saturday, me walking in crowded parking lot, looking not cute. That's the setup.
I'm walking, not speed walking but certainly not turtling it, and this car pulls up beside me, stopping in the middle of the parking row as it's window starts rolling down. Confused, I glanced to my left at the small silver car to see what was up. The driver was a man, bald with glasses. I'm going to be generous and say he was 52. He shouted his "excuse me" so that I too stopped beside the car. And this, friends, this is roughly how our conversation went:
Dinosaurman: Excuse me, miss.
Me: (thinking he needed DIRECTIONS) Yeah, can I help you?
Dinosaurman: Yes I just wanted to compliment you and tell you that you are a very beautiful lovely young lady.
Me: (Okay this is strange, I mean I look horrible, but I'll go with it) Um, thank you sir.
Dinosaurman: Yes, you're just so lovely. I was wondering if you were not in some sort of relationship if you'd like to accompany me to a nearby coffeeshop to get some coffee.
Me: (What the hell?? Panicking...) Uhm, uh...I'm kind of really busy right now..I've got to be in and out of here and then....
Dinosaurman: Well here's my number..can we call and schedule some other time?
Me: (Shit now he won't even believe me if I tell him I have a boyfriend) Well, I kind of live in St. Peter, and I just don't think...
Dinosaurman: Well I can come...
Me: I'm sorry I've really got to go.
Dinosaurman: Oh, alright. Well I'm sorry to bother you. You really are lovely. God bless you, honey!
Me: Have a great day, sir.
Maybe that doesn't seem that completely weird reading it (it was longer and more awkward). But seriously. What. The. Hell. Who tries picking up someone in a parking lot? Better yet, what 55 year old does! That's like...come-in-the-van-I-have-candy-creepy. I'm like 12-looking. So yeah, creepy experience for the day? Check.
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