Nitty Tuht Tum Pway.

My brother is home, and so I have already narrowly missed my 12:00 deadline/taken my off day for the week of blogging. But that's beside the point. The point for today, as this blog surely always has a point....is that he's home. Nick's been in Costa Rica for the last four months, and it's actually weird how much I've missed him. I mean it's not like he was gone for an unbelievably long amount of time, and granted we haven't always had the most spotless of relationships. This summer, in fact, he absolutely hated my guts--that's not an exaggeration. My very insides were loathed. But that doesn't change the fact that he's my brother. And let me tell you, my brother is great.

He's a quiet kid, my brother. One of my best friends was absolutely terrified to be around him when we were younger, and is even now she's a little leery when he's around. I think that's cause quietness often gets taken for coldness, and thus intimidation ensues. Whatever the case, Nick's changed a lot since Hill and I ran away from him in 4th grade. His once seemingly cold demeanor has warmed up a bit. He's kind. He respects his parents. He laughs. He gives. He appreciates. And I sincerely believe these last four months away from home have changed him the most.

I've spent my life looking up to my older brother. There is nothing I wouldn't do to earn his favor. I used to cry when he taught Ryan the chant "You're my buddy, right?" "Right." "And Kelsey's mean, right?" "Right." And I've heard endless stories of how I would stand at the top of the stairs and scream my lungs out until Nitty Tuht would come and play with me. He was the one who cracked my chin open on the driveway and who ran buck naked around the backyard with me. He was the reason I was disgusted with barbies, and he fueled my love for the Timberwolves. We grew up concocting insane games and sticking together over everyone else. I loved being the one whom he loved. I loved that he would come to me when he was angry and when he wanted to laugh. I loved that I could make him happy simply by agreeing with him. I loved being on his side.

And that part hasn't changed. I love my brother with everything I am. I've enjoyed every minute of his first night back, staying up with him and listening to his stories, remembering the ways to get his maximum laugh..it sounds strange, like I'm trying too hard..but really, I just love it when he likes me. And tonight I've realized that now, more than ever, he is able to teach me things about life that no one else can. He's grown up. It's crazy to look at him and see a full-blown adult, but that's what he is. His full embrace of life astounds me. He's a quiet kid, my brother. But he's also guy who gets it, one who's finally had it click. So I guess what this completely non-sensical entry is trying to get at (so much for a point), is that I hope he's ready for someone looking up to him. I hope he'll embrace the questions and experiences that our sibling-ship will entail. Cause as much as I've watched him grow up from his days as a Teenage-Mutant-Ninja-Turtle-loving basketball enthusiast --as much as he's changed, the way I look up to him and the unrelenting and unconditional way I love him--that's constant.