so it's a bad week.

This week, I'm sad. I've gotten over the crankpot-ness that was consuming me, but there's still the rest of it. There's still a lot I miss, things I wish I could do, things I wish I understood. This my first real "bad week" at college. I have say I'm grateful for that. Last week, actually, I was thinking about it, and while I've been here, there have been few simply "bad days" here where I've been really and truly in a down or cranky mood all the time. The beginning the year was hard, but I was always able to say I was doing "great" when someone asked. I mean, that'll teach me to knock on wood, but it's certainly somethin. It's okay to have a bad week. I guess I'm due..

I babysat/nannied for my cousins in Wisconsin several summers ago, and we went to Six Flags. The lines were horrible, I wasn't entirely impressed with the roller coasters, and the prizes paled in comparison to good ol' Valleyfair, but there was a moment--probably less than a minute--in the waterpark that I don't think I'll forget for a really long while. We were just about to leave, and I just took a couple seconds and stood there waiting for Jess and Jake to catch up. The sun was warm on my skin, the air was cool and flowed through my nostrils, I had no worries or cares. I was totally and completely content in that moment. It was a really weird thing, but right then, I didn't want to ever forget that moment. Maybe it was because it was so average, yet it was so singularly extraordinary. I told myself that whenever I was having a bad day, or whenever I was sick, or whenever I was stressed, I could think of that particular moment and know that things would get better. Because that extraordinary and average moment--it existed. And one just as great could come again. So when I've got the-worst-cold-of-my-life or I'm stressed-out-of-my-mind or when life-is-just-pointless, I've still got the moment. The moment that I stopped to take careful note of how it feels to be well and simply content, the moment I took to appreciate God simply allowing me to be. The moment I finally didn't take for granted life being good for no particular reason. It sounds silly. But so was I as an 8th grader, and I'm glad for that--cause sometimes it helps.

And tonight, particularly, that is what helps. Cause there was a time, and it wasn't necessarily awesome or epic, when I was overwhelmingly content. I know what it feels to be well, and I know what it feels to be happy. I'm sad this week. I'm discouraged. But that happens. I'll just keep my eyes open for more extraordinary and average moments. And that's enough.