Tonight I fell in love with the stair-stepper

I haven't worked out hard in a long time. I've gone on runs. But to actually push myself if rare. Tonight was a very good night. I almost couldn't walk afterward. Which was kind of awesome. Kelseytime. Yep.

yuck

So for my health class, I had to assess my food intake for one day. Just one day (and I even ate less because I was evaluating). What have I discovered? I am disgusting. No wonder I am constantly gaining weight. Not that that's the be all end all, but I'm just plain not healthy! I need to figure out a way to be more...balanced here at school. Cause dude. Gross.

This will also make me start running again.

Thank you, Brian Johnson.

happy pi day!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_BwKZEp2K_0&feature=related

I recently arrived at school from spring break. I am alone in my apartment, which is really my favorite part about right now. I'm frustrated with myself because I literally haven't even been here for an hour and I already want to leave. It's silly and dumb, but I just want to be done with school. I get like this every so often. And I complain and it's super annoying to listen to myself. And then I suck it up. And life goes on. And I learn to be happy. Because I like being happy, I really do. Blah. I just need to find reason right now. That's not to say there isn't reason. I'm just preventing myself from seeing it I guess.

Scratch that. I'm no longer alone.

I would really like some spring. Really really. The ability to be outside and not be grossed out by the cold and the snow would be awesome.

That's why Texas was so nice. It was spring weather and people were happy and kind.

I'm really sick of overthinking my life. I need to let go and let God do His work.

What I really want is a friend. A friend who is here. I have friends, don't get me wrong. But I'm also new and I don't have my friend. One that depends on me and vice versa. One with whom I can talk to about anything and nothing forever and have adventures and just be. Without overanalyzation. Just a friend. Yeah that'd be nice.

And then there's Idaho. I just want it to be now. But then with all of this--the wanting to leave winter and going to Idaho and blah just all of it--I feel like I'm just trying to escape. And what I'm trying to escape, I don't know. Because my life is pretty dang great. I'm just so frazzled by change and responsibility and the tiny strokes of growing up that I'm experiencing that I want to go somewhere where I can simply be. But if I did that, then I'd have my same problem because I wouldn't want to deal with that change either. Anyway, I've figured out I'm trying to escape. And that's not cool. Maybe it's a good thing not to go to Arizona.

This is a misguided post. And a rather downer. Meh. I'm good, I'm just discouraged by the end of spring break I suppose. And I'm feeling alone. I really hate being alone. But I know I'm not. God is steadfast. And He loves me even though I'm so far from deserving of it. I'm just kind of hoping he sends me a hug today.

stream of consciousness: random thoughts because i haven't blogged in awhile.

I've now been here in my new home for a month. I mean, I moved my things in (some anyway) one month ago yesterday. And I am 100% positive that I am happier today than I was on October the 6th of this year. So while I may go back and forth on this transferring thing sometimes and different things and ideas make me cringe and make me momentarily sad, this is a good thing. And this will continually get better. God is good. And He so beautifully provides.

Tonight I got to have a chat with an amazing woman about an amazing blessing. Marriage is cool. And it's so much more than the ideas I've always had.

Wow I can't stand living in filth. Holy holy cow. Today may have been my breaking point. All I want for my birthday is cleaning supplies. But even when I clean, it gets back to this awful state in about 3 hours. I can finally identify with my mother in this realm. And I need to figure out how to deal with it or I will eventually explode.

This is a weird thing to vocalize(or really typelize..)...but whatever. Lately I feel worth something. Not that I normally don't. But I am loved. And feeling good about myself is such a blessing.

And not to go back on thing one, but I do really really miss St. Peter. And Mankato.

I need to seek out more opportunity for hugs.

Dino of the Week: Maiasaura

The Maiasaura is a duckbilled dinosaur(hadrosaur) that lived in the Montana-ish area. She had a flat skull and crests above her eyes. Her name is pronounced My-yah-sore-ah, it means "Good Mother Lizard." She was called this because she was the first dino to be found within close proximity of her young and most likely took care of them. (notice, her name ends in an "a" versus an "us" because she is one of the few dinos that has a feminine name!) She was roughly 30 ft and weighed 8,000 lbs. She ate plants and berries (probably about 200lbs a day!) and nested in herds with other Maiasuara(nests were generally only about 7ft apart). She could walk on either two or four legs cause she was pretty talented.

Random fact: The Maiasaura was the first dino in space! In 1985 astronauts took a piece of bone and eggshell on a mission. Cool.

Side note: When I was in 6th grade, my dino project was done on this girl.

What goes up, must come down.

Remember how about three weeks ago I was at the happiest of my happy? Well, I'm not necessarily at the saddest of my sads...but I'm down there. And it's less of a sad than I just so..discouraged. Like exhaustedly so. I know there are so many good things around me and I know that there are good things to come and everything is temporary and all those encouraging things. But, man, I'm scared. And I'm sad. My brain is everywhere and nowhere today. Dawson and Joey would be very welcome friends currently.

Also, I left my Bible at school today cause I figured I wouldn't need it for just one night.....ha.