Lalaalala shopping. Is tiring and annoying and I'm terrible at it. But I have jeans finally and hung out with mom and wasn't in my house sleeping through the day. Also, Frank Sinatra is serenading my soul. I will fall asleep smiling tonight.

Ps. I sort of started writing my story. I have: "Once upon a time.."

The reason I didn't wite much even though I said I was going to...

is that instead I read all of my blog going back into March-ish. Weird. Sleeping now. Or braceleting.

lists

Things I am looking forward to about college

-Class

-Moving in

-Blender Tuesdays

-SLP

-Roommates

-Naps

-Choir

-Busy weekends

-Dawson's Creek

-Running in the arb

-Neighbors

-Complex

-Letters

-Tea

-Laying outside

-The Folke Bernadotte Memorial Lib

-Profs

Things I am not looking forward to about college

-Homework

-Being organized

-Weekends with nothing to do

-Staying up too late

-Fake..ness

-Showers

-Caf

-Choir

-Decisions

-Too much facebook

-Being late

-Work Study

I made this list...

when I got home from vacation. I haven't decided anything yet.

What in the World Am I Going to do with My Life?

Teach - what?

-high school - math? english?

-middle school

-special ed -age?

Live at Camp Forever - how? where?

-outdoor ed?

-theology?

Write -about?

Go Abroad- when?

-mission work?

Adventure! -With? Yahweh! Uh huh uh huh

Love!

Run!

Laugh!

I feel a real need for guidance. I don't really feel strongly pulled in any directeion...well depending on the day I guess I do..and the decisions I amke are going to be affecting pretty much everything from now on. God says not to worry about tomorrow, but that can be hard. How do I know when my plans and my goals match God's? How long do I flounder?

__

At least I'm sure on the last ones. Mom says that God puts things on our hearts and gives us talents and desires and it's okay to follow them. Because He's given them in the first place. My issue is that I have so many desires. I tend to love where I am at the moment, and I can see myself doing so many things, and really I might just end up getting antsy with whatever I do. I want to help people. I want to listen to people's stories. I want adventure. And I want to see Him in the work that I do. And as selfish as it sounds, I want to know it's right...soon. My heart is so consumed and so confused. I don't even know how to start thinking anymore.

I used to get these...

feelings where I'd just want to blog instead of sleep. That's happening. Cause I napped too much today. And I'm going to run out of things to write this week/I have nothing important to say currently. But I just want to type and think. It's therapeutic.

Random thoughts

I really am going to buy a Spiderman bedspread. I think it's important for my happiness this school year.

Oreos and peanut butter. That's all I need.

Basically I'm terrified. Of life. And I don't really know why.

I'm happy.

I do a lot of listening. And not as much telling. Well. I talk a lot. But I'm going to count telling as different. Sometimes I wonder if I listen because I don't have anything real to say.

But listening is more important. This summer I absorbed and I learned and I grew much. So much. And that does not come from telling.

Sometimes telling is nice though. Mom's good for that.

Mom's great. Remind me to talk about her sometime.

Who makes their bed at 12 42 in the morning?

A 10 o'clock bedtime at school is necessary. But quite possibly impractical.

The world is my burrito

So what kind of meat do you want?

Chicken.

Beans?

No thanks.

Extra rice?

Thanks very much.

What else?

Just lettuce and cheese.

Life is like a burrito. I think I could stretch this metaphor and make it pretty ridiculous...so why not. Life is NOT like a burrito. At all. If life were my burrito, I would know what to order. I would make it plain. Like I make everything..foodwise. And i would know exactly what to expect. I would eat what I know I love. Because if I know I love it, why would I change a thing? If life were a burrito, it would be delicious. And I would enjoy every bite.

But life is not a burrito. Or, it is not a burrito as I would make it. Because life isn't plain and it isn't made to order. Life has unexpected beans and fajita and tomato chunks that tease the taste buds and throw you off. And sometimes those are welcome changes, and sometimes those changes are like too big of a chunk of guac, which is so disgusting that all you want to do is spit it out and rise your mouth out for a year. But chunks are important. Cause what's the fun in a plain burrito? By the time you're 2/3 done with the thing, you're bored and then you stick it in the fridge and it's just not as good when you finally decide to take it out and eat it again. So as much as I love to plan and do what I love and stick to my chicken and no beans and lettuce and cheese only burrito, God (burrito maker extraordinaire) knows better. Maybe he knows I'd do better with a steak burrito. Or even a burrito bowl! Or maybe God knows that he has better for me than just a burrito. And even if the funky-looking burrito thing God has for me, with its tomatoes and beans and guac and whatelsehaveyou, looks scary and intimidating and I just want what I know I love, maybe I'm just supposed to take a bite and forget about my plans and my hesitation to do anything outside my comfort zone.

And there's extended metaphor time with Kelsey. Tune in next time when she rants about gatorade or yarn..

Biggest Waste of Time. Ever. Please spare yourself and don't read this..

Hello. I need to write 800 words right now. And I still have nothing exciting to say. I'm currently sitting and preparing to watch UFC with the bros. And I have missed this. Also, it's nice to not be at a restaurant. Very nice indeed. I appreciate these people. I appreciate the ability to speak of idiocy and make fun of Joe Rogan and play cards. I am excited for the night.

Today has been busy. Thinking back it just seems so long... I ran 20 today! It took me a little longer than 3 hours. Very exciting. I was in Mankato and woke up to run at 550 (brilliant idea, by the way, as running in the day sucks). It was great cause I was super nervous since I'm really behind on training but at 10 miles I was feeling really really great. It wasn't until my tracker stopped at 16 that I struggled..anyway. I finished. I saw a dead racoon and a costume store and got a little lost. And I made it halfway up the Bethany steps at the very end....so rough. I'm so tired right now though. My legs are dead. My chest is sore. And my butt kills. Here's hopin I'll be good to go tomorrow:) That's so much more than anyone needs to know of my running....but again, I need 800 words.

Anyway. I was in Mankato. So I did a little more hanging out the the girls. (Last night was good, by the way. Quality nerf gunning with Josh and good times catching up with the girls..) I like being at college while not being at college. No responsibility is nice. But I want to learn again. So torn so torn.

Ooookay. So I got home. And I went to visit Michael who just had surgery yesterday. So painful. We watched LOST. And I fell asleep.

I got to see Kristen today! I went to Excelsior and we went to a walking play the the Arb. Hil-arious. Loved it. So much sweat and sing-yodeling and mother naturing and just loving everything. Best idea ever.

So I haven't really been home yet. And I'm really really really tired. And I told Lauren I couldn't go to a midnight movie with her tonight and she is rather angry. Oh well.

This is the most boring thing ever read by man. Or myself. So many apologies.

Whaat else can I speak of. I have a lovely bunch of coconuts diddly diddly. There they are a standing in a row. Zoom zoom zoom. Yah zoom zoom zoom zoom.

I'm back from camp. Someday I'll talk about it. Someday soon hopefully. But I've been home for a week. I do like being home kinda.I basically just slept the first day back. 24 hours of sleeping is great. And I've seen people and I haven't been bored yet. I'm just about ready to go back.

I really don't like the state fair. It's pretty lame. Lots of food and spending money and walking and all that stuff. I like getting my apple and going through the buildings. But...meh.

I played Mario Kart this week. It was a little embarrassing how much skill I've lost. So frustrating. But funny. Luigi is the way to go. Toad is to fast and Peach is lame. Have you ever gotten 4th? It's depressing. The award ceremony is ridiculous.

Once upon a time there was a candle stick. Jack did not jump over it. The little UFC men watch over us with loving eyes. Creepy. Double hotdogs sound nasty. Too much dog for the hot...what?

I'm so sorry for wasting yours and my time. I don't want to do this through December. But I will. Cause I must win.

Concussions are weird. I thought they pretty much go away in a couple days. Apparently it's a lot longer. Scary. No thank you.

I need to go to the doctor. Or get knee brace.

Kitchens that are not logically organized are okay. Don't worry about it. Worse could happen.

I think if I put that much vaseline on my face I would break out by the end of a fight. But that probably wouldn't be my face's biggest problem at the end of the night. I think I'd be a pretty great fighter. I mean, I can't really punch. I'm not very strong. But I'd find a way.

This is not cheap. I'm following all the rules. Holla.

Paul: I do not want to talk at you. Zack is (bad word). Kory is (bad word). Backspace. Space space space. I have to keep talking. Do I really have to do this? Ryan tell Kelsey a story.

Ryan: Remember that one time back in the day when we lived at our old house. And we duct taped our babysitter to a tree. Well. I didn't. But Jeff did. And you got motor oil poured on your head....

Aaaand he's done. That was uneventful.

Dear bro,
Hi. Missed you this summer. I'm glad yours was good. And that you got healed and had adventures and all that stuff. I'm glad you're cooking right now. And that you still talk at me. Cause it's nice to listen to you talk. And think about your different opinions and yoda-sagely thoughts. I'm sorry you don't like camps...or what they do..or whatever. I do though. But I like home too. And I'm sorry if I seem like a brat sometimes. I don't mean to. And I'm working on that. And I'm babbling now. But yeah. You're still going down. Peace. Love. And scrabble. Soon.

La la la. Good times here in this chair. Sippin three monsters. Not the dragon kind, mind you. Don't you just love that movie, by the way? I'm glad I now know how to train my dragon. Cause I was nervous.

I'm past my word quota (1001 exactly suckaa). Thanks be to God for patience. Mine and yours. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

my little pony's name is prancer. and we shall prance to mankato. and live in merriment and jubilee. and run 20 miles in the morning. oh dear pony.

don't look now, but i think i just got excited for school

one of these days i'm going to actually need to post..

this already isnt going very well. i am semi glad to be home. i wanna get back in touch with my wonderful brothers.

boom. one min to spare. good first post.